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Internet cafe customers who pay cash or who obtain "photos, maps, or diagrams of populated locations" now considered terror suspects by FBI

(Guest Post by Luke Montgomery -- February 7, 2012)


In a secret inter-agency contest to see which federal bureaucracy can deadpan the funniest press conference, Vegas bookies are indicating that the FBI has surged into the lead with its release of a new flyer designed to help internet cafe operators identify potential terrorists . Odds are now 7 to 1 that the FBI will win the contest as this list provides more material for late-night humor than the announcement by Department of Defense Secretary Leon Panetta last week that Israel has been planning for years to strike Iran in the next two months. This statement was only funny to citizens without Alzheimers, and some pundits wonder whether it was a violation of the contest’s anti-discrimination provisions and might disqualify the DoD from the competition altogether. Others said that budget cuts were already having an effect on military intelligence.

The list from the FBI, on the other hand, gives ‘tried-and-true’ tips to help internet cafe employees catch terrorists in the planning stages. These include customers who:

1) pay for their coffee with cash
2) try to shield the computer screen so that others can’t see personal or credit card information
3) search for the terms “police” or “government”
4) obtain photos, maps or diagrams of transportation, sporting venues, or populated locations

The list is much longer, but it is estimated that these four tips alone will identify another 72,561,000 potential terrorists in the US, not only justifying current budget levels but making a strong argument for more hiring. The additional jobs are already being touted as TARP III (Total Annihilation of Rational Principles).

Vegas bookies speaking on the condition of anonymity suggested that if the FBI can successfully deadpan the press conference related to the flyer, it will have a significant lead over other agencies. The contest ends in November, so there is still time for the TSA and the Department of Education, but only if they work together.


Author, researcher and motivational speaker, Luke Montgomery lived for over a decade in the Middle East and now writes and works in an undisclosed location with other pilgrims traveling towards the Celestial City. Follow his writing online at www.lukemontgomery.net and on twitter at @LukeM_Author
 


Comments

Patriot
02/08/2012 10:27

We laugh, but we should be afraid. Very afraid.

Rwolf
02/29/2012 12:57

Re: FBI Flier Provided Coffee Shop Owners: Brilliant Tactic By FBI:

The FBI Flyer being distributed to Coffee Shops states—customers that repeatedly pay cash for Coffee may evidence terrorist activity—and urges Coffee Shop Owners to report those customers (appears ridiculous) on the surface, especially since the real estate crash and near record unemployment—millions of Americans no longer have credit cards, bank accounts or debit cards to pay for their coffee and other inexpensive items. However, looking below the surface, the FBI has done something "brilliant" here even the East German Secret Stasi Police never thought of to develop an army of national informants. It took the Stasi two decades to build an army of neighborhood and other informants to spy for the communist government. FBI anti-terrorist flyers that ask merchants and businesses to inform, report customers paying cash for something so small as a cup of coffee (will definitely attract Americans) that want to be government informants; the FBI won’t have to spend years like the Stasi Police threatening Citizens, shaking the bushes to find informants to build its U.S. national network of American informants. The Stasi army had several hundred thousand informants: neighbors spy on neighbors, workers reporting workers. It got to the point East German married couples were afraid to discuss things inside their home and would leave the house to talk. The Secret Stasi Police threatened Citizens with indefinite detention that refused to act as government informants. Is this the direction America is headed?

Re: Homeland Security Monitoring Social Media Websites:

Homeland Security spying, tracking Americans may result in Citizens abstaining from visiting and posting comments on websites? When other countries passed Police State Laws like The Defense Authorization Act of 2012, Citizens increasingly abstained from politically speaking out; visiting activist websites or writing comments that might be deemed inappropriate by their government, especially Police State Governments, that could cause someone to lose their job; be investigated, disappeared and or detained in Police/Military Custody.

Is the National Defense Act Of 2012 and recently Introduced “Enemy Expatriation Act” Retroactive? Some writers might be dead-meat under NDAA. It appears that “Americans” who write on the Internet or verbally express an opinion against any entity of U.S. Government or its coalition partners—may under the Patriot Act or The Defense Authorization Act—be deemed by U.S. Government (someone likely to engage in, support or provoke violent acts or threaten National Security) to order an American writer’s indefinite military or prison detention.

Where U.S. Government appears headed with the Patriot Act, The National Defense Authorization Act of 2012 and recently introduced “Enemy Expatriation Act” that would allow U.S. Government to Strip Americans of Citizenship without evidence or a conviction—is getting Congress to grant U.S. Government (The Executive Branch) the Power to arbitrarily arrest, charge, Indefinitely Detain Americans that participate in 1st Amendment activities (on the premise) certain 1st Amendment Activities appeared intended or were used to support or provoke hostilities, combatants, belligerents, terrorism and or threaten National Security.

TJ
02/15/2012 13:40

Uh oh. . . I don't have a Facebook account, so surely I must be hiding something. The government should no doubt be suspicious of me and all people who aren't participating in social networks.


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